Are you worth it or are you entitled?

I hate long lines at the supermarket. I hate bad customer service. I hate it when I don’t receive cellular reception on the New York Metro system… but what do I hate more than any of these inconveniences?…I hate ENTITLEMENT

Entitlement: noun. the fact of having a right to something|The belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

Well, What is it about entitlement that gets under my skin? After all, entitlement is not necessarily a bad thing. People living in the United States are certainly entitled to unalienable rights. These rights are highlighted in the American constitution i.e. the freedom to vote, freedom of speech, freedom of religion etc. I feel that as humans we should be entitled to equal human rights(unfortunately that is not the case world wide).

Without equivocation, what I hate most about entitlement is the deserve trap. It goes a little something like this..

I bust my ass at work, I’m smart, I invest..  I deserve to be a millionaire?!

Entitlement thinking is invading our society. We feel that we should be allotted rewards because of our motivation, our skills, our looks, or even worse… just because.

Ask yourself, have I become.. entitled?

  • My boss should give me a raise!
  • My spouse better cook tonight!
  • She/he better text me back!
  • My kids better behave!
  • My spouse better be in the mood!
  • I should be manager right now!

Or perhaps,

  • You look out for your desires more than anyone else’s
  • You crave admiration/adoration
  • You like to assert your dominance/superiority over others
  • You tend to feel sorry for yourself in attention seeking manners if things do not work out how you planned
  • You believe that you are more special/matter more than others
  • In order to “succeed in life”, you will go to any lengths

The truth is, we do not reach our full potentials when we fall in the deserve trap. Many things we hope for do not go our way in life. For instance, the “he/she better text me back” approach. This mentality is what empowers many people to send multiple text messages to their person of interest because they feel that <Hey, I like Tina, and she should text me back because I’m funny and handsome>

… Which may be the easiest way to get ignored in my book. This belief facilitates the entitlement mentality, which psychology defines as a narcisstic mindset that can easily be mistaken as natural and healthy.

In essence, having a sense of entitlement is a malignant form of self-love. It often harms the people around us which indirectly causes us harm. It is imperative to remember that we all are subject to personality flaws. While some of us are deeply insecure, some of us suffer from entitlement complexes.

We must develop more self awareness, identify our inner expectations of the world, and work to accept life as it is without imposing our perceptions of what things should be.

True self love, is not entitlement…not the REAL kind.

man wearing gray sweater in selective focus photography
Photo by Segopotso Makhutja on

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